The Critic Wiki
Season 1, Episode 2
Production Code: 7802
Written by Steven Levitan
First Aired: February 16, 1994
List of Season 1 Episodes
Marty's First Date

Miserable is the second episode of Season One of the show The Critic. It is the second overall episode of this show. Aired February 16th 1994 written by Steven Levitan.

Official DVD Summary[]

"At a screening, Jay falls for a lovely young projectionist, not realizing she's actually an obsessed fan determined to make him her prisoner."


Jay is feeling miserable because everyone else is in a relationship and he isn't. He goes to a film screening and catches the eyes of a woman who's in the projector room. Jay goes to meet the woman, only for the two of them to make out. The next day, while watching a movie, the projectionist catches his eyes again, and they pick up where they left off from the night before.

Jay later tells Jeremy about his escapades with the woman, and he wishes to talk to her. That night, Jay goes to talk to the woman, only to find that she has a gummy bear stuck in her throat, which she removes. Jay convinces the woman to go out with him.

They soon meet at her home, and Jay finds out that she has pictures and merchandise of him all throughout her home. The woman reveals that she's Jay's biggest fan. As the two share some wine, Jay suddenly drifts off to sleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself tied to the fan's bed.

The woman intends to use Jay to help her tell the difference between good and bad movies, since she finds every movie to be a good one. Jay wants to be freed, but the stalker injects him with a sleeping dose a few times. Days later, Margo shows up at Jeremy's apartment, recruting Jeremy for assistance in the search for Jay, who has gone missing.

Back at the obsessed fan's house, she begins a 16-day method to kill Jay by giving him a haircut. The woman leaves, and Jay soon finds company via an elderly woman through a vent (the older woman confuses Jay's voice as one of her cats talking).

Jay then attempts to escape the house, but to no avail---the stalker catches him while doing so. Later, Jeremy gets an idea while watching one of his movies---he remembers Jay telling him about where he first met the stalker. Jeremy spots the stalker in the projection room. She runs off, and he chases after her. He soon reaches the fan's apartment and attempts to shoot her, but he misses. The stalker chases after Jeremy with a knife, only for Jay to stop her by clapping his hands, triggering a cardboard cutout of him that repeatedly says "Buy my book!," in which an arm strikes her in the head.

In the end, Jay heads over to Vlada's restaurant and chats with the stalker, who was recently released from prison.



  • Central Park (opening)
  • Central Park Zoo (opening)
  • Jay's Apartment (opening)
  • New York City (central location)
  • Rockefeller Center (opening)
  • Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum (opening)
  • United Nations Headquarters (opening)




  • Miserable, a parody of the film Misery, was originally slated as the second episode of the series, but ABC censors barred it from being shown due to unsuitable content. On The Critic complete series DVD set, this episode is properly listed as the second